My friend is living in a full care facility for patients with Alzheimers. She was diagnosed last year with frontal lobe dementia. Because we had lost touch over the years, I cannot comment on the symptoms that led up to this diagnosis except to say that there were frequent fender benders, poor choices of friends, and financial problems.

What I can comment on is the loss of an artistic, articulate,outgoing friend and fellow teacher. She loved being surrounded by friends, to entertain, to date, to attend singles groups, to travel, and to enjoy grandchildren. She never missed a hair or nail appointment. Her companion was a shaggy dog.

Today she is confined to a wheelchair, is incontinent, has no phone or internet or companion. She has one small room to display items collected from travels all over the world. She is fearful even living in a structured environment. She realizes what is happening to her and knows that she can only leave these confines on short outings. Our last time together was to the art museum and an elegant buffet. She suffered a fall and had to return to her room.

She is so fragile, so helpless.  What can I possibly do for her but to call and say that I'm with you. Can you feel me hold your hand? I love you. But there is no answer.